PEG LEG J-LO

ahhh..... where to start with this photo. what i love about my buddy brian, is that my life always seems to get captured by him. whether it be skateboarding or thru life hammers. well this one falls under lifehammer. one night brian was d.j.'n at this bar in rosa, and he told me, uncle josh, and good ol' adam bulger to come out and check the scene. well i think this was around the time my first daughter was born and my wife was a stay at home mom. so the chalker had no money to party with. so luckily i had some mini bottles of jagermiester in my freezer for just such an occasion. so we get to the bar, and behold 4 bottles of mini jagermiester make it in with me. so i guzzle em' down and get a nice little buzz, while brian is spinnin some tunes, and josh and bulger are kickin it with me. its a pretty cool night. then all of a sudden this chick walks in the door. where we were sittin we were lookin right at everyone comin in the door. so i see this chick walkin in with a cane, and sparkling white clothes with the little hat. and i went "holy shit" does this broad think she is j.lo well little did i know she did. so anyways the night is goin good i have a a couple of homies buy me some beers, and i am rollin. well low and behold peg leg low is givin me the 5 mile stare. so she procedes to come sit next to me and chat up a storm. and the whole time she is tryin to get me to back to her place. i tell her that i am not interested and this only makes her try harder. so she is like o.k. then dance with me. i don't normally dance but i was pretty wasted. so i am thinking. all right. this will make her leave me alone. so thats when this photo got snapped. but she still wouldn't leave my side. she sat next to me after the song was over. all these guys were tryin to hit on her. but she only seemed focused on me. i was bummed. i was hopin that she would hit it off with some other dude. i even told her i had a lady and a baby. and it seemed to turn her on. so i turned the focus on her what do you do? blah blah blah. when she hit me with the mother of all knowledge. that she was an amputee. she was missing half her leg. thats when i was like "doh". i all of a sudden conjured up fantasies of me behind her. kinda like getting of a motorcycle and putting down the kickstand. which by the way is the reason for the cane. so finally its time to bail and she is trying to give me her phone number, which i toss, and head home. sleep on the couch and wake up the next day and tell my lady what happened. so she replies "she didn't want you". " nobody wants you". " you are lucky that i want you". it's nice to know that my baby's momma is with me out of pity. when i coulda hooked up witha ghetto ass version of jennifer lopez. i am just glad when shit like this happens,at least my homies can feel my pain. and know that sometimes being chalker can be a blessing and a curse.