CRACK A 40

i think i was talkin to willie about 40's of pbr. i see now the 440 (our local hole) is sellin talls. so what the fuck. they need to bring back the 40.

THE BEERMUDA FEATURED IN THE NEW ISSUE OF LOWCARD

so my buddy joey aka buttafuko tells me he has a homie at lowcard and wants to send somethin in on the triangle. cool i say. he tells me he is just gonna pull shit right off the chronicles and put it to disk. even better. now i don't have to do anything. well long story short when your buddy has been drinkin you might want to proof read some shit. i can get passed my name bein spelled wrong. that shit has happened my whole life. but when you misspell the link to get to the chronicles, so that people can see the rest of the photo's.......well thats how shit goes in our scummy ass crew. for those of you that read the article in lowcard, and now are here i welcome you. and congratulate you on figuring out how to get here. please enjoy the lameness inside. and for those that have already been here go ahead and rip on buttafuko. oh yeah if you click on the photo to enlarge thats one eye wille skating the ramp.

GET BEAT BY THE HEAT.

fukk the ice cream man. i want a dude selling coldies of these in my area.

REAL LOSER

if you know me me, i have a lot of ideas about shit with life. but i was on dlxsf.com one day and they had design a real ad contest. i am pretty sure i will not get picked but these were my ideas.

jfa rip


motley rip

ASS OVER TEA KETTLE

so the other day i am on my lunch break readin the paper.(cuz i never made it as a pro skateboarder.) i get done doin the crossword and start on the rest of the filler. i get to this article tellin me how to fall on my board. what i love is that skateboarding is so big everyone is an expert. fools that have a bachelors in some form of medical science tellin me how to fall. i think me and tony one time figured out that you gotta take a slam while warmin up, in order to get the blood flowin. gettin wrecked is a part of skateboarding. it's like a right of passage. sure it sucks when you get really fukked up. but thats how it goes. you pay in blood, sweat, and beers. so do me a favor hop on your board and learn the old fashion way. trial and error. and for the rest of you fukks on the sidelines tellin us what to do. hop on a board eat shit. before you give me a lecture on how to fall.

DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH

so thursday is like another day. until this guy i know brings me this old board he had lying around. he told me about it before saying it had some indy's on it with a unicorn. so when i get it i was stoked. first off it had the og indy 169's. second it had the original sims wheels from the 80's. cool enough. i thought. so on to the deck. at fisrt glance i thought it was an old stedham. but when i turned it over it had a unicorn poster glued to the board. i looked at the top to see if it was a powell. but there was no logo. so i figured i would make some art project outta the deck and ride the trucks and wheels. so i started picking at the logo. realizing there was a graphic underneath. i peeled a little more exposing the paisley's, thinkin what the hell valterra type board is this?. but as i kept goin i made this killer discovery.

this is what covered the board.



this is what i found.................................


if you have never heard of JFA aka JODY FOSTERS ARMY. then now you have this board is original from the 80's . this was a skate rock band that had their own board. and now i had a piece of my teenage years, and also skateboard history.

THE SCUM DISTRICT

so for what ever reason since i moved over to the downtown area. me and my buddies started to call this area the scum district. there are quite a few dirty skaters that live over here. one eye wille, tony c, the loach, mexi-matt, roomate-nate, lohne, hendo, uriah, nacho, myself and who ever else is passed out over at the scum pad. so with this in mind i decided to get a map of the streets of santa rosa. i colored in the area in which we all inhabit. once i traced it all out and colored it in, i made a crazy discovery, my house is the furthest north. the scum pad is the furthest south. can you guess? if you said a pack of smokes. you win! now get up and get yourself a victory beer. first the beermuda triangle and now this.
******CLICK THE PHOTO TO ENLARGE

FUNCTION NEVER FASHION.

i was lookin at the lowcard site when i saw this link to the new creature boards. it seems that they have come correct with a product built in to your skateboard. if you wanna watch the video check out this link.
www.creatureskateboards.com/bruekillers/

oh yeah by the way if you check out the old ussr video. chalker should have patented it back when he was just goofin off. don't worry creature, my ideas are usually years before anyone else's. just ask ponts. if you guys wanna anymore idea's involving beer products hit me up. i still got a few left that know one has ever thought of.