the chalker chronicles

THE LEGEND OF OL' DIRTY JAMES AKA CUTTY JAMES.

2009-11-04T21:13:00.000-08:00

have you ever had one of those moments when you remembered a old pal? well when i saw this video clip of ol' dirty on the revo site.i was pretty stoked. he went through a rough patch. but skateboarding and his homies, pulled him out. james is now a family man married and in his mid 30's also, he owns his own plumbing company and bought a house 30 miles away. once in a blue moon i will hear a rare sighting of him. i wish he would move back to rosa cuz, fun was always to be had when cutty james was around.
if you watch the clip there are some other scumbags in there you might notice. so watch the style of ol' dity james. aka cutty. his back 3's are fukkin proper. skateboarding is forever, and forever james is a skateboarder.

OULK SKATEBOARDS

2009-11-03T20:04:00.001-08:00

so my buddy's mexi-matt and som, decided to start up a board company. shit is gonna cool. som is a good-ass artist and matt is the drive. so peep there little site here. right now they are workin on boards, but they got some shirts and tanks available so hit em up. oh yeah. oulk stands for one ugly little kid.
------GIRLS TANK.

-------MEN'S SHIRT.

SWELL-BEAU

2009-10-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

ever heard the term paying in pain. my buddy beau crellin just wrote a check.

BE BOP A LU BA.

2009-10-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

why dress up for halloween. this outta work.

THE RUSKA

2009-10-24T13:34:00.000-07:00

what can you say about a person that is one of a kind. you gotta just get the feel when you are in the same room. words cannot describe the rusczyk. i have known this dude for many years. always fun to skate with. he will make you try somethin even if you don't wanna. kinda like a personal motivator. so the whole time he lived in rosa he kind of fooled around with web type stuff. and now it got him a cool gig at sole-tech. mike also has his own site, it's pretty cool if you are not into the norm. check it here. it's called ofad. office of fine art and design. scope it out. and we all know he rips. so watch his re-edit clip.

THE LOACH

2009-10-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

this guy kills it on a skateboard. but this night, he was a little tired. i think.

R.I.P CAPTAIN LOU....

2009-10-15T20:14:00.000-07:00

what sucks is, the older i get the more i notice death. not only my mortality but those around me. even things that discarded by the social mainstream, that i think are cool. it all seems to have one thing in common. it eventually dies and most poeple could give a shit less. imagine to my surprise that the 80's legend captian lou albano had passed. shit i had the t.v. on last night and i heard nothing about it. i bet if that bitch kate from that t.v. show farted, everyone would know. imagine my surprise when i read it in the obituary of my local paper. for those of you who read this and don't know let me tell you. in the 80' the wwf had just came out. before all this over-produced bullshit now, that you call wrestling. that time period had fukken cool ass characters. and captain lou was one of them. shit wwf even had a cartoon in the 80's. bet most of you had no idea. well before i get all old and codgery, raise a tall for captian lou. that guy gave me and my brothers alot of kick-ass, brother time together watchin the ol' boob tube.

SCUMTASTIC!

2009-10-14T20:58:00.000-07:00

well they are finally here. the ofiicial board of the u.s.s.r. aka the united scumbags of santa rosa. with some chalker imagination and buttafukko capital. the shit is real. so you may wanna head down to brotherhood or revolution boardshop. even joey has em' down at endless summer i believe. anyways if you want one and cant' make it up here to our neck of the woods call 707-778-8520 and see what joey can do for ya. shit these things look good just sittin on the wall

GET UP ON WONKA'S TIP OR MAYBE TAKE A LITTLE TRIP

2009-10-11T12:41:00.000-07:00

this shit was on a commercial i saw today....are these guy's fukken serious. i might be sick, and haven't had a good amount of brews in a couple of weeks. and even in my off-axis state, i can see that wonka has his hands in some other shit besides candy. for real? mushroom candies. i can only calculate 2 things from this. 1) willy wonka is making a gateway candy for those who, may wanna try to 'shroom. may be the factory is a front for laundering all the money from drug sales? or, 2) he is looking for some young talent to come up for his new movie. "Willy Wanker and the lollipop girls". know what i mean. the mushroom tip all up in some mouths. giving certain people "training" for an up coming role. notice on the bag three kinds of shapes. well at least when they pull it off the sHelf you can say, i read that shit on the chronicles way before you even knew what was goin on. if i might give a suggestion to wonka. please make some gummi-taint, shaped candy.cuz there ain't nothin quite like a rusty trombone, so lets get em' ready.

----------watch for the mushroom tips at the end and you tell me.

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH.

2009-10-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

sorry i have been laggin on my duties. i have been feeling like crap, fighting off this lame virus. hopefully i will come up with something soon. until then, enjoy the young ones. it seems the house is sick too.

HENDO'S BACHELOR SPECIAL.

2009-10-01T21:49:00.000-07:00

what do you do when your a skateboarder and it's your bachelor party? what else? grab yer crew and hit the road. so the groom to be is my buddy brian henderson. coolest guy out there. he's vegan and doesn't drink. so where do you take a guy like that? reno, of course. just cuz your straight-edge don't mean you don't like strippers. the crew consisted of powner, the hendo bro's, lohne-star, big poppa, holland, chalker, the loach, gypsy kev, and billy gabe. this was a good crew. 3 days of partying. all for the cause of our fellow brother, brian henderson. and i must say no one puked, or got arrested. this one will go down in the books for sure.
---GET IN THE VAN.

---THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE IN THE VAN

---BSC....BACK SEAT CREW

---TRUCKEE PARK......AT NIGHT

---TRUCKEE SUNSET

---PACK IT UP,SO WE CAN GET TO RENO,

---HOTEL ROOM COOLER.

---THE BACHELOR TELLIN THE CREW, "I MIGHT BE VEGAN, BUT I LOVE THE SWEATER MEAT."

---BIG POPPA

---LOHNE STAR, GEARIN UP TO GET DOWN.

---HENDO AND CHALKER, BEFORE SHUTTING DOWN THE STRIP CLUB.

---RENO ROOM LIFE.

---WHEN YOUR ON THE ROAD, ITS A BEER WITH A COFFEE CHASER

---RENO SKYLINE

---OG RENO PARK, IT WAS HOT AS SHIT.

---TITO, RENO'S FINEST.

---IT'S TO HOT TO SKATE, LET'S GET SOME BREW'S AND Q IT UP.

---THIS COOLER WAS THE TRIP MVP

---THANKS TO TITO AND GRACE FOR THE YARD AND BAR-B-Q

---SORRY BRIAN, THE VEGANS WERE OUT NUMBERED.

---IS IT TIME TO EAT?

---WAGON+PBR=ART PHOTO

---WHY DO I ALWAYS SHOOT THIS PHOTO. MOTEL SIX AKA MOTEL NO TELL

---ALWAYS BRING PROTECTION

---THERE WERE WIENER'S ON THE BLANKETS

---MOTEL SIX LIFE

---HOLLAND IS PONDERING.

---GRANITE SKATEPARK SACTO CA. SHIT WAS LIKE 105 DEGREES.

---CHECK THE FOOTY AT THE END OF THIS.

---THE BEST FRIEND A ROAD TRAVELER CAN HAVE.

---WE GOT TO THE RIVER AND THIS IS WHAT I SAW.

---THIS SPOT LOOKS GOOD.

---JEFF CONTEMPLATES THE TEAM MANAGER LIFE.

---BIG POPPA, HAPPY TO BE AT THE LAKE.

---NATURE'S COOZIE.

---POWNER, LENSING IT UP.

---JEFF HENDO, THROWIN DOWN THE STEAK KNIFE DROP.

---THE JUDGES WAIT TO GIVE OUT THE MEDALS.

---HOLLAND, SPLASH DOWN.

---LOACH GETS THE EXTRA SWING, BUT HAS NO IDEA THAT IT WILL BE HIS LAST.

---THE ANKLE BUSTER

---RIVER RATS.

---THE LOACH AND GYPSY KEVIN

---TIME TO PACK IT IN.

---DOOKIE BALLS

---VAN LIFE.

---WHEN YOU GOTTA GO, YOU GOTTA GO.

---PARTY'S OVER, NOW BACK HOME.

TAKE ME TO THE RIVER.

2009-09-29T22:02:00.000-07:00

we took a little detour to the river. this was during hendo's bachelor party. this was from lohne's slow mo cam. that thing makes everything look cool. anyways i been busy on my kitchen. when i get a chance i will get the photos up for you to see, that i took, i even shot some skateboarding too.

WHAT WILL YA HAVE?

2009-09-21T21:31:00.001-07:00

like you didn't already know.

IS THAT YOUR FART YOUR ANSWER.

2009-09-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

i forget what i was lookin for when i ran across this gem, on the you tube. at first i thought it was fake but then saw the look at reg's cohost. it is short but super funny.

DALTON......SIGNING OUT.

2009-09-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

in case you havent heard. patrick swayze is gone. he had a long battle with his illness. it seems to have got the best of him. dude made the best worst movie ever. if you have not seen roadhouse. i suggest you find it. and lets not forget that snl skit. raise a tall for the swayze.

TALKIN TRASH.

2009-09-12T21:34:00.000-07:00

so it's friday like any other night, stay up watch a movie with the family. i hop into bed at about 10:30ish. i'm out right. after many hours i start havin this dream. the garbage man is pickin up the garbage at like 4 am on saturday. i was thinking the fukken trash gets picked up on wednesday. so i get up all pissed like i was gonna go outside and yell. as i got up a flash of white light came through the window. "holy shit" it was a thunder storm. for those you don't live in santa rosa. a thunder storm is like spotting a jack-o-lope. shit is unheard of. so imagine my surprise.
-----kent porter from the press democrat took this.(rosa's local paper)

HYGENE

2009-09-10T16:33:00.001-07:00

i don't know about this photo. all i wanted was to take a deuce and this is what i saw. i heard of keepin it clean, but how bout cleanin up your shit.

GRAB SOME ICE.

2009-09-08T21:08:00.000-07:00

as you saw from the earlier post, i had found an old movie poster with ice cube. i was lookin for a certain music video from ice cube which i could not find. so this in turn reminded me when my oldest daughter. wanted to see "are we there yet?" (this was a few years ago when the movie came out). when i saw the previews i was floored. this was not the same ice cube i grew up with. so i made rylie a deal. we would go see this movie, as long as when you turn 15, i can show you the ice cube i know. she is gonna be stoked. this lesson can also be applied with eddie murphy when the time presents it self. anyways this song popped up on my ipod today. turn up the speakers and grab a tallie.

WHAT IS OLD, IS NEW AGAIN,

2009-09-07T21:32:00.001-07:00

all i can say is i am glad i went to ukiah today to help my mom clean out the garage. cuz i found some of my old shit.
O.G. POWELL&PERALTA TOUR POSTER 89'

----O.G. BOYZ N THE HOOD MOVIE POSTER 91'

........my mom has been known to toss my old boards away. all the ones i rode in the 80's. but at least these were hiding in a tube in the back.

WHILE YER UP GRAB ME A COLDIE.

2009-09-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

newest, lamest, chalker chronicles commercial.

SMITHER'S

2009-09-07T20:11:00.000-07:00

found this old photo before the beermuda became a full triangle. back when the loach brought over this parking block made outta recycled materials. another sweet hendo photo.

WAITING FOR THE CURE.

2009-08-31T20:45:00.001-07:00

i can't stand the sight of wasted wood. growing up skateboarding we had to make our own shit. we didn't have the luxury of a public skatepark, where you could get a ticket for not wearin your pads. i had the idea of making a driveway kicker for shits and giggles, and came up on some wood that was on it's way to being recycled. mexi-matt was down to help. so me and matt "found" some pool coping. after that i called crellin to tell him about it. and he had a couple of bags of cement lyin around. so he drove his ass down from middle town and made a batch of mud. so now all we need to do is wait. cuz if you skate it too early.......well just look at the photo above.

-----CRELLIN MIXES THE BATTER.

-----ALMOST THERE....

-----GRAB A BEER AND WAIT

----THIS PHOTO STEELE TOOK MIGHT HELP YOU WAIT, WITH THAT BEER.

REGULATE

2009-08-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

allright, it has finally hit home. as you all know i have 2 daughters. and over the years i have been dreading that moment, when my girls wanna date. with that said, here is the story. i had just got home. riding on my cruiser board, i hit a hole in the street and ate shit. so when i got home there were no beers. so i decided to go to safeway and grab a cold pack. this is where it gets bad. i see this dude tryin to get in this truck with high school girls. as a dad i am concerned. so i ask the girls "is this guy bothering you?" they reply "yes." so i get in his face and tell him "to beat it!, fukken pediphile!" he walks away and the girls leave. so no problem i think. i get some brews and head back to the car. and there he is talking to some guy. so i tell the guy, "i just caught this guy tryin to get into a truck with some girls in it" oh by the way i threw the word "pedophile" into it to and the guy he was with told me those were some harsh accusations. and the next thing i know this bum is tryin to claim his set. he told me that this was his hood and i had to beat it. well little did he know that this whole town is run by the ussr. the united scum of santa rosa. so with that i let him know watch his back, cuz your in the scum district and this is how we run shit, and no one will miss a pedaphile. fukk i hate being an asshole. but sometimes fools got get regulated.

WHEN THE ROAD CALLS, ANSWER IT.

2009-08-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

how do i make this with out getting all boring with the logistics. basically we went on a filming mission over the weekend for the new revo video. so i got some photos for you all to see. i was gonna film with the dad cam, but i decided to let you all wait for the new revo video in november. cuz i saw some shit go down on this trip. oh yeah, and for the record i only am rockin the 5 megapixel camera. so what you see is what you get. not fancy shit, no money, and no worries. this is what it is. now that i am done pissing about my media equipment enjoy.
-----STARTED IT ALL RIGHT HERE.

-----HEAVY METAL BUTTERFLY

-----DAN RAM LIKES DEM BLUNTS, NAW I MEAN?

-----BIG POPPA + HOT SUN = COOL TREAT.

----I SAW A DUDE IN HIS THIRTY'S GET OVER THIS. NOT ALL OLD GUY'S ARE PARK BARNEYS.

-----HAD TO STOP TO FUEL UP.

-----HARDER THAN YOU THINK. I DARE YOU TO GET TO THE TOP AND MAKE IT DOWN IT ONE PIECE.

-----UPHILL, ROUGH ASS GROUND, SOMETIMES YOU NEED A LITTLE HELP.

-----NO SPECIAL PASSES NEED FOR THIS EVENT

-----ROAD SODA

-----NIKO, FAKIE MOONWALK MANUAL.

-----MAY NARD DOUBLE DUTY.

-----THIS SPOT LOOKS GOOD FOR THE NIGHT

-----START YOU OWN GYPSY TOWN.

-----HOTEL ACCOMMODATIONS PROVIDED BY A OLD OUTTA BUSINESS ALBERTSONS.

-----WHY GO TO A BAR WITH A BUNCH OF SCENESTERS, WHEN YOU CAN MAKE YER OWN.

-----JIMMY SAYS, "YOU CAN'T TALK DIRTY, BUT IF YOU GOT A CLEAN MOUTH IT IS O.K."

-----SKYLAR THE TRIP'S M.V.P (MOST VOLATILE PUKER)

-----JASPER GONNA GO OVER THEN THRU.

-----SOMETIMES IAN JUST LIKES TO SIT ON THE GRASS, INSTEAD OF SHREDDING THE GNAR.

-----DOOKIE TROUSERS, MAY-NARD, AND OL' JIMMY SOULWAX

-----DAN RAM NOT GIVIN A FUCK!

-----THE OLDEST DUDES THERE. BIG POPPA, HENDO, AND CHALKER.

-----YEAH, I ALREADY SWITCH TRE'D IT, BUT YOU SHOULD TOTALLY JUST WALK DOWN EM. I DON'T THINK ANYONE HAS TRIED THAT ONE YET.

-----WHICH WAY TO THE GAY BAR?

-----CASEY WARMIN UP ON THE LOCAL COLLEGE RAIL.

-----CASEY BANGED OUT A HAND FULL OF TRICKS ON THAT RAIL. SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA GIVE BLOOD TO GET SOMETHIN OUTTA SKATEBOARDING.

-----WANNA SKATE STREET? PREPARE TO MEET THE HEAT.

-----STRIP MALLS WHERE LITTLE JOHNNY CAN GET A PAINTBALL GUN AND A NEW SKATEBOARD.

----HURRY UP BRAH! THE BIG SET IS A COMIN IN!

-----THE LOCAL T.F.

-----EVAN "DOOKIE TROUSERS" POGO MOSHIN THRU THE PARK.

-----JIMMY GOT HIS EYES ON THE HUBBA GRIP INSTEAD OF THE NOLLIE BIGGIE

-----THE CREW READY TO BOUNCE

-----AHHH THE LONG ASS RIDE BACK TO ROSA.

KILLAHOE MEDIA PRESENTS..........

2009-08-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

i was lookin for somethin on youtube when this popped up. i almost forgot about it. another fine production from matt kehoe. i remembered when it premiered as part of the revolution video. as i was watchin, i dawned on me "holy crap!" there were a ton of kids there with mom's and dad's. so maybe little johnny got a talk about the birds and the bees. anyways check it. another fine killahoe production.