THE SHECKLER SYNDROME

so yesterday over at revolution skateshop in cotati we had ANDREW RENYOLDS, FIGGY, and COLIN PROVOST for an in store signing. so there was tons of bodies everywhere and word got out around town that there was a pro skater at the shop. now this is where things go really backwords, girls start comin up to the door that i was working and goin is ryan sheckler here? at first i thought nothing of it but more and more girls kept showin up askin for the sheck's. but everytime i told em' it was andrew renyolds they seemed disappointed. so by the time it was over they split and i went home to grab a pizza. so at the pizza place i just told the story to the broad that works there and shae tells me how here daughters love the sheckler. so she asks me what i think about the guy. and if you know me i have no problem voicing my opinion. so i tell here that i am NOT on board with this guys styles. so she fire back at me and calls me a hater. i pause for a moment and tell her you are right. i am a hater. and she proceeds to tell me that i am jealous of the money and the cars and the tv show.
but i told her that i wasn't hatin on that. and she looked confused. "then what could you possibly hate on?" she said. and this was the best cuz, all these people see is what is shown to them on televsion, they have no clue about how skateboarding really works. so i tell her that if someone wanted to make THE LIFE OF CHALKER a tv show then i would do it. not for the fame but to buy a house and put my in my kids future. and we all know if i was a millionare i would still drive my red truck and dress like a complete scumbag. and she wasn't buyin it. so finally i reach the point to tell her why i am a full blown hater.
-----------i let it be known that sheckler is a full blown ripper and when i see his part in the new plan b video i am sure i will be gnarly.
-----------i also wish i had his backlips on hand rails.
----------- but the real reason why i am not on the bandwagon is because of the crap like the photo above that my daughter has in her little magazines. i don't see a skater just another guy tryin to worm his way in my daughters life. and let it be known i am not lookin foward to my kid liking boys cuz i will be fully hatin on that shit. so now ryan has become the enemy.
----------- he also cried when he lost the 3rd leg of the dew cup. come on be a man.
-----------he cries about not be able to have a girlfriend........you a pro skater, bang different hoes in area codes.
------------ the proactive commercial for zit medicine.........for real? as i stated before, i you skate good chicks will flock to you like a 50% off sale at tiffany's.
so there it is in a nut shell. so girls pull your heads out and realize that there is more to skateboarding than the ex-gaymes, the douche cup, and mtv reality shows. if you wanna date a skater just get a 12 pack of pabst and head to your local skatepark. shit if you don't believe me just ask my wife.

JONNY PHONE NUMBERS AKA GRAPE SMUGGLER

favarou Panty Raider


-----what i love about skateboarding is that there is always that one guy that will do whatever it takes to get in the video. and so i present to you jonny phone numbers.

SILAS BAXTER NEAL GETS LOST IN THE BEER-MUDA TRIANGLE.

well silas came over to ride the beer-muda triangle. and guess what? he conquered it with this little line. keep on keepin on brotha. and to the kids go youtube this guy. cuz he kills. maybe you can catch him at the rosa park murdering that shit too.

BEER WIZARD

yeah i know this photo is blurry, but who gives a shit. i had nothin to do last saturday but hang with my family and reach wizard status. let it be known i paid the piper that sunday morning. so remeber when you set your goals let nothin get in your way of reaching them.

THE ROCKETEER

so here we go. another fun game from the crappie, located in wonderful ukiah.
so here is how to play. it works good on a day whena bunch of people are comin over for beers.
1. find a object to be known as the "the rocketeer" (see photo above.)
2. find someone to grab the item known as rocketeer.
3.once they have it, then everyone yells "rocketeer"
4.you can only let go of the rocketeer, if you pass it off on somebody.
5. if you let go of the rocketeer for more than 10 seconds, you get beat on by everyone in the room. but this allows the person in possession to put the rocketeer down.
----once you have done this then find the next person to come thru the door and pass it off on.........welcome to the crappie.
******a little hint, to pass it off on some one else be real sly. say shit like "check out what i found at the goodwill?" then next thing you know someone has to carry this lame ass thing around all day and night.

THE RETURN OF MEXI -MATT.

mexi is comin in hot..........here is another gem for the vaults. oh yeah and canaveri's back tail slide shuv, is pretty sick too.

THE HOT-BUTT

growing up in ukiah is pretty fukken cool. i got to party with all my budiies i skated with, we even had a underground secret language. but in this case we had some cool-ass games. i am sure we are not the first to do this. but we were the first to make it cool. so here is the how-to.
---------THE HOT BUTT---------
1) GET LIGHTER AND MAKE IT AS HIGH AS THE FLAME WILL GO.
2)FIND A BUTT THAT HAS NO ONE WATCHIN.
3)LIGHT UP
4)PUT FLAME DIRECTLY ON BUTT
5)WAIT.........SOMETIMES THIS STEP MAY TAKE A WHILE. SOMETIMES WHEN PEOPLE DRINK IT
MIGHT TAKE A WHILE.
6)WATCH AND LAUGH AS THIS PERSON FINALLY REALIZED THEY JUST GOT A HOT-BUTT.
* ON A SIDE NOTE, YOU CAN GET REALLY INTO IT BY RUNNIN YOUR FRIEND AS A BLOCKER TO
DISTRACT THE PERSON AS YOU HEAT EM UP FROM BEHIND.
good ol' ukiah. keep posted for the next game.

POUR SOME OUT FOR THE HOMIES.

this is one of me and josh's favorite comedy routines. we can go on quoting this all day without gettin bored. rest in peace bernie, you were funny as fuck.
"I AIN'T SCARED OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!......KICK IT!--------BERNIE MAC

SNEEK A PEEK

-----i have a ton of footy on the dad cam that will never get used.......until now. check out the latest myspace commercial, before it gets out. yeah, i know but who gives a shit. my homies are gettin some interweb styles, and the chronicles might get somemore readers.