UKIAH

what can you say about ukiah that you already haven't talked shit about, or at least made fun of me for. i always get to go and visit for a bit and remind myself why i left. but it is always good to go back and see all the old crew. so check out my buddy chon, made this song about ukiah california, 95482

ALIEN VS. PREDATOR.

i am tired of this michael jackson shit. he was the huge in the 80's but if i recall it is the year 2009. twenty years ago folks. how come when rick james died he wasn't gettin all this coverage. or dare i say joey ramone. the king of punk! mj died as a broke ass pedaphile. even katt williams had some shit to say. fukk at least the people over at skate mental know whats up. try finding these boards now.



KATT WILLAMS- listen to the shit on mj about 1:18--the truth hurts.

FUCKTARDS

i know this is gonna make me sound old. but i am. so i remember when skateboarders started making their own companies. the one that appealed to me most was anti-hero. they had a do it yourself approach to everything. just cut and paste photos with some commentary for ads. and when they made videos it was cut and dry. cool music and sick skateboarding. well any ways i was on you tube and found a little clip from fucktards. it is missing the cool ass puke part with andy roy. but what i like it is it is just friends skating and traveling. which is what it should always be. i think it was from 97ish and the team was sean young, bob burnquist, john cardiel, and julien stranger. no image, no money, no worry.

THE MAN SPA

rusczyk would call it a "life hammer". but i shall call it chalker's cafe. it will be the spot to check out vintage skateboard products, listen to real records, photos, mags, get a cold ass beer and if someone shows up with a tattoo gun, you can get your slab railed on. shit you can even take the grind box out to the street for your ledge styles. like i said make it happen. it took a while but it is almost here. so for all you skate dad's out there i suggest you find yourself a little spot. cuz we all know that once the ol' lady and kids take over the house, shit is over.

UGLY DOG CONTEST.

every year at the sonoma-marin fair they have a ugly dog contest. it has gone world wide. this years winner is a dog named PABST. no lie. so that gave me the idea of the hottest or styliest chick with a pabst contest. i don't know when it will happen but get some photos of girls with pabst ready cuz this shit might be sooner than you think. i will give a date and time span when i get a chance. i think this shit would be cool.
*******EXAMPLE*****

-----not a bad idea huh?

KILLIN TIME

so i talked to my buddy ev's today and he told me about his photos from his travels. if you like random photos of skateboarders and the shit around them click the link. but you might wanna get a few beers, cuz there are a shit load of them.http://www.flickr.com/photos/totallytming/

KEVIN'S EDIT.

kevin has been makin some little edits with his camera. check out this one.

SOULED OUT.

this one is a little rough but, look for it coming to a board and shirt near you.

THE ECONOMIC KICK-TURN

unless you live on a ranch, and have a cult leader taking care of your well being, there is no shortage of knowledge out there.... the the economy sucks. everyone is in the hole right now unless you just won the fukken lottery and have been a bum prior to this. well here in santa rosa it is just as bad. everyone is gettin laid off from their jobs and shit is closing all around. now you ask yourself. "how does this affect me the average skateborder?" well you know that skatepark you find yourself goin to when there is nothin else to to and you wanna drink a coldie. it has been the latest target in a last ditch effort to create revenue for a city with a bad fiscal year. in skateboarder terms----the city is broke, needs cash, and is gonna crack down on laxed laws. so keep an eye out. whether your are downtown skating around or at your local park. all those spots that the police have givin up on because they were to lazy to get out of the car, are now what it is gonna take to put some money pack into the city's pocket. fukken bullshit. now is the time to make your own spots. get building and put revenue back in your local economy by goin to your local hardware store to buy supplies. not by getting a skatepark ticket.

DOP-O-GANG-WHO?

everyone seems to think that they look like some buddy famous. lets face it, most people don't. but my buddy jesse has always seemed to remind me of rodney dangerfield. if you have never heard of this guy. i suggest you look him up. one of my top 10 favorite comics of all time. anyways he had a few nick names. it started with rodney and ended in juice tiger. look at the photos and tell me what you think. if jesse cut off the hesher doo, i think he could be an impersonator for sure. and if rappin rodney is not your cup of tea check out jesse's metal band featured in the thrasher skate video BRUTALITY......here is the link trial by combat

JESSE----



RODNEY----


RAPPIN RODNEY---


-----sorry i could not find the original version, but you get the idea.

BREAK YO' SELF FOOL.

you know what sucks. when you and your friends are foolin around and someone gets hurt. well my buddy mexi-matt torched his knee when we are playin this game called "kickflip". it was me, nacho, one eye wille and mexi matt. it was all good when we were skating the box in front of my house when willie decided we should play kickflip. this came is played by everyone doin a kickflip. when you bail, your out. needless to say after matt's knee gave out i heard the gnarliest sound of bone when he popped it back into place...... well this photo is of matt when he was at the ol' beermuda triangle. and by the way there was an 18 pack of pbr bottles involved. long story short, it sucks when your dorkin whith your friends and you get hurt. raise a tall for mexi. cuz it looks like he may be out for a bit.

JUST STU IT!

if you have never seen any footy of stu graham, you better you tube that shit. homie is a big ass man ripping. kinda remindes me of ben sanchez, only hesh instead of fresh. no excuses now.

HEAD FOR THE HILLS

so the idea was to head to sacramento to skate. but we figured it would be hot as shit. willits was on the table. so since mexi matt never had been there we decided it was a go. it was me. mexi, justin and trevor. google the willits skatepark. the place is super fun.



the chalker chronicles


oh yeah it was kinda hot...so we all decided to get some beers. see if you can figure out who drinks what.

BEER WOW (c)

i have had this idea in my mind ever since i saw my dawg vince sellin them damm sham-wows(c). i always seem to have these ideas that revolve around beer. do you blame me? i just thought if i didn't do it now some other douche would try to use my idea. i wanna thank mexi-matt for filming.so welcome to another low budget-ass production. tell your friends. supplies are limited.....1, maybe i will ebay the towel? and i am gonna throw this out there. if you are in a skate company and you need some booze influenced type ideas hit me up. just leave your email with a comment. what do you think...a mini beer wow with your company board logo on it. with a purchase of a deck?

THE CRIES AND STALLIN'

so today the fallen dudes are doin a demo at the revohood. its hot as fukk. and i have been workin on my house all weekend. so i figured that i would kill some beers and watch some sick tricks go down. but they were runnin late(i should know by know that being a skater that we are always late.) so i had dad duty and missed the demo cuz as soon as they showed up the had to sign autographs for kids. so i cruised the coffin board back home to finish my domestic duties and domestic beers.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN PRANCE?

***********CLICK ON PHOTO TO ENLARGE.

i just got home from work and needed to take my after work excretion. aka dump. so i grabbed my ol' ladys crap mag that comes every week. this is the ad i saw. so now what. everyone wants to look like a skater. seems we still are the coolest people on the planet. when dancers for a bigass show are rockin tony's shoe in an ad, shit must need some viewers. is this makin any sense? i am almost outta beers. or is it outta years? fukk...sorry. see how many chalkers you spot in the commercial. it's like where's waldo but your lookin for a lame-ass old skater sack of shit.

KEVIN

sometimes when i am trollin the net for shit i always find funny shit. well at least to me. i was lookin for a photo but ran across this drawing of what the kids call a "hipster". but if have been hangin out with me and victor then you know we call these guys "scenesters" cuz they are always tryin to be in our scene. anyways it kinda looked like my buddy kevin. and he is the furthest thing from a scenester i know. and is on the team toebock crew, and adam wouldn't have that shit. so anyways here is a little video he made the other day. hope you like it.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

to all the babys mommas out there. and mine happy mothers day. i don't know who created this drawing but i think it's perfect for mothers day.

AHEAD OF SCHEDULE

this was gonna start on some shit about my trip. but when i checked my emails i kinda got heated. my buddy brian sent me this link.http://www.nowashunderwear.com/servlet/StoreFront
so when i looked i got pissed. if you have been readin the chronicles or have known me. you have known that i have had some creative ideas over the years. i am not tryin to toot my own horn, but when your married and have kids the mind wanders. i was takin a few trips when the SCUMDIE(c) popped into my mind. so imagine how i felt when i saw that shit. for the record when i rode for scarykid skateboards i wanted to do it. but we had no money for it. then when i was ridin for 84 it was gonna be a go. but they ran outta money. so i pitched it to silo boxers and consolidated skateboards, but no bites.....well not till this biter came along.

this is what i created on april 24th 2004


this is what i found......in 09'


you make the call. those similarities are a little too close. skateboarder mag.com even gave them a review. so here it is. when you wanna product thats gonna sell. hit me up. then put it out about 3-5 years after i come up with the idea. cuz this ain't the first time it has happened. check the archives.

oh yeah and this board i made for rusczyk's pro debut for foundation, that went up for auction. back in jan 06'

SWINE FLEW

what's all this i hear about the swine flu. sounds like a bunch of hogwash to me. i mean, i have had swine flew since the 90's. what i mean it was ok if you like christian punk rock. now i hear people are goin to the hospital and freakin out. they aint the fukken beatles.